Open Letter to His Excellency Antonio Manuel de Oliveira Guterres, Secretary General of the United Nations 18 September, 2018 Urgent Appeal to the Secretary General to Revoke Association of the United Nations with Olusegun Obasanjo

His Excellency António Manuel de Oliveira Guterres,
Secretary General of the United Nations,
Office of the Secretary General
United Nations Headquarters,
405 East 42nd Street,
New York, NY, 10017,
United States of America.
Dear Secretary-General,
We, the undersigned, a non-partisan coalition of progressive minds in Nigeria and South Africa, are compelled to address to you our deep apprehensions and grave concerns over reports of your appointment of Olusegun Obasanjo as a member of the United Nations High-Level Advisory Board on Mediation consisting of 18 global leaders established in 2017. We are particularly disturbed by reports of your special commendation of Obasanjo for his mediation role in ensuring smooth political transition in Liberia. This reported commendation is said to be contained in your remarks to the Security Council’s debate on the ‘Maintenance of International Peace and Security: Mediation and the Peaceful Resolution of Conflicts’ at the UN headquarters in New York in the last week of August, 2018.
Against the backdrop of the invaluable services of the United Nations to Africa, not only in the maintenance of peace and stability in Africa, but across the totality of the developmental and all other human endeavors, we consider it imperative that the continued integrity and credibility of the global body be sustained at all times. The United Nations should be protected from
contamination from the likes of Obasanjo, whose life career has been antithetical to the Charter of the United Nations and has undermined the ethics and values of this great organization. This protection is required in order for the United Nations to remain a highly valued, constructive partner of the peoples of the continent, and to be perceived as such by African peoples. Given his character, the controversial history and debilitating outcomes of his personal involvement in Nigerian affair, Obasanjo has been publicly declared as unfit to lead a mission to rescue Nigeria and restore the nation to sanity. He therefore cannot be fit to rescue Africa or the world.
The sordid profile of Obasanjo in his engagements both in the public and private realms is well documented. Given this profile, we affirm that his association with the United Nations is a grave error fraught with potentially incalculable harm to the already fragile ethical fabric and upended value systems of not just Nigeria but the totality of African society. And in view of the dangers implicit in the association of Obasanjo with the United Nations both to the organization, Africa and Nigeria, and indeed the world in its entirety, it is our hope that as Secretary General, you would, as a matter of priority, nullify this unmerited association of your highly valued organization and historic partner of Africa with an immoral man possessed of stout anti-democratic credentials.
Your Excellency,
Under Obasanjo’s watch, over eight high profile national political actors were assassinated across the country in yet unexplained circumstances. Among them were the Attorney General of the Federation, Chief Bola Ige, and the National Chairman of another party, Chief Harry Marshal. The assassinated were seen as obstacles to electoral victories in regional constituencies considered critical for Obasanjo’s aspiration to a second term in office.
Before then, in 1978, under Obasanjo’s watch as military head of state, military command killed over 300 unarmed Nigerian university students and innocent civilians across the nation. The crime of the students was protesting increases in tuition fee. About the same time, Obasanjo’s “unknown soldiers” raided and burnt down to rubble the home of iconic cultural figure, Fela Anikulapo-Kuti, whose octogenarian mother, Mrs Funmilayo Ransom Kuti, an icon in the pantheon of historic anti colonial figures in Nigeria, died of wounds sustained from that incident. The deployment of mindless violence has since become Obasanjo’s default approach to crisis management in all settings.
In November, 1999, then as a democratically elected president, Obasanjo ordered the invasion of Odi community, in what is now known as the Odi massacre, by the Nigerian military of the predominantly Ijaw town of Odi in Bayelsa State. The massacre was in the context of agitations in the Niger Delta over indigenous rights to oil resources and environmental protection. Human
Rights Watch concluded that “the soldiers must certainly have killed tens of unarmed civilians and that figures of several hundred dead are entirely possible.” Nnimmo Bassey, Executive Director of Environmental Rights Action, said that nearly 2500 civilians were killed. The government initially put the death toll at 43.
Under Olusegun Obasanjo, another gory massacre of civilians took place as the Nigerian military descended on Zaki-Biam, a community in Benue State in 2001 when soldiers from the 23rd armored brigade of the 3rd armored division of the Nigerian army rounded up residents in Gbeji village for a “meeting.” It made the unarmed civilians sit on the ground, separated the men from the others, and then opened fire upon the men indiscriminately. Witnesses reported that some of the victims’ bodies were then set ablaze. Further killings took place as soldiers invaded the villages of Vasae, Ugba, Sankera and Zaki-Biam, all located in the two local government areas of Logo and Zaki-Biam.
In the following two days, there was widespread destruction of property and buildings in these villages, after terrified residents had abandoned their homes. At the end of that military action, no fewer than 300 persons including women, children, young and old had been massacred. Many women were violated in that tragic expedition. Among the victims of the attack was a former Chief of Army Staff, Lieutenant General Victor Malu, whose houses were burnt. The former Speaker of the House of Representatives in the First Republic, Hon Benjamin Chaha, and lots of other prominent indigenes of the area suffered the same fate. It was not until November, 2007 that Lieutenant General Luka Yusuf, the then Chief of Staff, apologized to the people and government of Benue State over the army invasion.
To satisfy his overweening ambition, Obasanjo, behaving in the manner of other dictators in power in Africa (Paul Biya in Cameroon, Sassou Nguesso in Congo (Brazzaville), Joseph Kabila in the Republic of Congo, Burundi’s Pierre Nkurunziza, Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe, Yoweri Musezeni of Uganda, Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo of Equatorial Guinea, etc.), strenuously sought to undermine the Constitution to secure an illegal third term in office.
Mr. Secretary General,
In his nuclear family, Obasanjo’s scandalous life has remained shocking in its violent repudiation of the established norms and moral codes of decency of every society. In a 2008 book, Bitter-Sweet, My life with Olusegun Obasanjo, Oluremi, his first wife, paints a portrait of her husband as a vindictive “master of decoy”, a “violent and unrepentant wife-basher”, and a man whose “womanising knows no bounds”. The book contains evidence of Obasanjo’s domestic violence that has not been repudiated. This is a man who keeps hoodwinking international community, parading himself as a pan-African statesman, second only to Kofi Annan.
In 2013, Nigeria was abuzz with allegations by Obasanjo’s son, Dr. Gbenga Obasanjo, that his father, Olusegun Obasanjo, was having an illicit affair with his wife. In the wake of this scandal. Obasanjo did not deny in strong terms the allegations of incest leveled against him by his son. Also, his daughter, Senator Iyabo Obasanjo in 2013, drew the attention of Nigerians to her father’s “egoistic craving for power and living a life where only men of low esteem and intellect thrive”. In her 2013 letter, Iyabo accused her father of cruelty to family members, abandonment of children and grandchildren, and maltreatment of women. Finally, she affirmed that Nigeria is a country where her father and his ilk ‘‘have helped to create a situation where smart, capable people bend down to imbeciles to survive”.
Your Excellency, Mr. Secretary General,
All the aforementioned provide a summary of the career of a deeply flawed man that you adulate within the hallowed chambers of the Security Council. As demonstrated above, Olusegun Obasanjo’s life substantially negates the Charter of the United Nations and violently assaults the values as well as ethics of the organization. His association with the United Nations can only deepen cynicism on a continent in search of authentic heroes to lead the charge to rectify the devalued codes of decency in its violently abused societies. Olusegun Obasanjo does not belong to this rescue vanguard brigade.
There is an associated nagging question pertinent to Obasanjo’s appointment which is: would anyone with Olusegun Obasanjo’s public and private profile be considered fit to represent any other continent apart from Africa? We do not want to be persuaded by the cynicism of those who argue that Obasanjo’s appointment is a reflection of deep-seated contempt for Africa and Africans. We only think that notwithstanding the massive digital revolution that has made the world smaller, knowledge about and developments in Africa still remain on the margins. The likes of Obasanjo take advantage of this lacuna. The impression should not be created that a paucity of sterling intellectual and moral actors in the public realm exists on the continent. We repeat: Africa is blessed with men and women with impeccable records. The choice of any of them will serve as an inspiration, not only to Africans but to the world. The likes of Olusegun Obasanjo should not be promoted as role models in Africa by United Nations. In the light of the above, we ask that you do the United Nations and Africa, as well as its future generations, a favor by revoking all association of the United Nations with Olusegun Obasanjo.
Please accept, Mr. Secretary General, the assurances of our highest consideration.
Signed:
Dr. Ademola Araoye, Ibadan, Nigeria.
Former Head of Office for the Consolidation of Democratic Governance (United Nations Mission In Liberia, UNMIL)
Former Head of Political, Policy Planning (United Nations Mission In Liberia, UNMIL)
E-mail: araoye@gmail.com
Dr. Essop Pahad, Johannesburg, South Africa.
Former Minister in the Presidency, South Africa.
Editor The Thinker, A Pan-African Quarterly for Thought Leaders
E-mail: egp@thethinker.co.za
Kunle Ajibade, Lagos, Nigeria
Executive Editor TheNEWS/PM NEWS
E-mail:kajibade@gmail.com
Professor Garth, Le Pere, Pretoria, South Africa.
Extraordinary Professor of International Relations
University of Pretoria, Pretoria, South Africa
Former Executive Director of the Institute for Global Dialogue, South Africa.
E-mail: garthlp@gmail.com

Osun decides 2018: Lesson for the opposition

If ONLY the opposition had merged in Osun, run off would have been needless.
Do you know 48 parties actually contested last governorship election in Osun.
Apart from funny names and phoney parties picking up 0,1,11,5 etc votes here and there, 3 parties apart from APC and PDP actually won local governments, not to talk of coming 3rd, 4th and 5th in many LGAs.
If all those opposition votes had been added to PDP, it would have won straightway.

This underlined the need for alliance among opposition if they hope to win.
I advocated for the different parties under APC to merge then and they did and defeated the Behemoth called PDP. It’s outlined in my articles then and eventual book “Why PDP Continues to win elections”.

That’s why I respect The National Leader of APC – Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu, whose political astuteness and dexterity was needed to make the merger a reality.

Mwai Kibaki was able to win Kenyan Presidency through a Rainbow Coalition of Political parties. Same with Abdullahi Wade (Senegal), George Weah (Liberia), Macky Sally ( Senegal) , Allasan Oattarra (Côte d’Ivoire), Adama Barrow ( Gambia) amongst others.

Adama Barrow only through a collation was able to defeat sit tight former Gambian President Yahyah Jammey. Before Wade became a sit tight himself, it was only through a coalition he was able to defeat sit tight Abdou Diouf. Oattarra likewise used coalition to defeat sit tight Lauren Gbagbo.

Do you know that ousted Egyptian President Mohammed Morsi only won because the pro revolution Egyptian politicians failed to close ranks. Let me tell you what you may not have read elsewhere before.

Despite all the rigging and violent tactics of former and ousted Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe, he would have been ousted long before that after the March 30 2008 elections. Mugabe despite all dangerous tactics and rigging couldn’t get 50% of votes nor a parliamentary majority. However the split among the MDC opposition into two MDC-M led by Morgan Tsvangirai
and MDC-T led by Arthur Mutambara split opposition votes and opposition parliamentary seats.

We all know it too the power of Coalition for Buhari to defeat PDP. I said it then and it happened. That was also what also happened in Oyo state in 2015 that made Rasheed Ladoja to lose the 2015 governorship election to Governor. Ajimobi.

In the run off election in Osun,if PDP eventually lost the runoff election on Thursday, their loss will not be because the APC was successful but it’s as a result of failure of opposition to unite.

Let me declare in summary the only way the opposition can beat APC is to form an opposition coalition. That’s it !

What people don’t see while sitting on top of trees and communication masts Nostradamus II sees with ease sitting down !

Disregard Nostradamus II to your peril !!

God rules in the affairs of men !!!

Sacked State House Chaplain: Ambode Incurs God’s Wrath By Touching His Anointed By Adeoba Michaels

The embattled and outgoing Lagos State Governor, Akinwunmi Ambode is an emperor. And he is not sorry about it.

Before now, he used his office as governor to deal with many perceived foes in Lagos.

Like a wounded Lion, he pounced on his immediate predecessor, Babatunde Fashola to devour him. If not for the Lord who was on his side, Fashola would have ended in jail.

When Fashola got enthroned as ‘Prime Minister’ in the Buhari cabinet, Ambode got furious and devoured his friends and associates at home.

In his first week office, he sacked Fashola’s sister, Yinka Fashola, 18 permanent secretaries, the vindictive governor had terminated appointment of 33 Permanent Secretaries so far.

He humiliated and sacked George Noah, LASAA MD, Folorunsho Folarin-Coker, Lara Odebunmi, Safety Commission, Foaud Oki among others .

He also frustrated many out of government. They include Ganiyu Johnson, Tunde Fowler and many others.

Ambode should have limited his arbitrary use of power to politicians and those in his cabinet but strayed into God’s arena and the Lord struck him.

Governor Ambode sacked and evicted a Chaplain of the Chapel of Christ The Light, Alausa (Government House Chapel) , Rev Femi Taiwo for not anointing his wife, Bolanle first before other parishioners.

The cleric was disgraced and his belongings and family thrown out of government apartment.

It took the intervention of Nigerians especially his parishioners for the man of God to get shelter.

I read on a reputable online medium, Complete News, that the clergy was still floating one year after Ambode sacked him.( http://www.completenewsng.com/exclusive-state-house-chaplain-rev-femi-taiwo-sacked-by-ambode-still-floating-one-year-after/).

Oluremi Tinubu and Abimbola were first ladies in Lagos and heads didn’t roll in the cathedral.

I have no doubt that God is avenging the wicked acts of Governor Ambode particular the harm he did to his prophet, Rev Femi Taiwo.

The governor has been committing embarrassing gaffes ever since which suggest that the Lord is against him.

He started by building needless statues that should earn him accolades but rather brought him reproach.

Lagosians fumed at the Chief Obafemi Awolowo’s statue built by the governor where a cosmopolitan, dandy sage was decked in Agbada with his trademark cap and glasses to match and then a laced safety boots.

Like a man who is under an influence of a spell or forces beyond him, Governor Ambode without consultation with Lagosians and even his party leaders hiked Land Use Charge by over 400 percent!

Lawyers abandoned courts to protest to Alausa over what they tagged, Rejection Of Ambode’s Satanic, Toxic Tax. That singular indiscretion dropped his ratings and turned him to a pariah.

To assuage the public anger and revolt that almost consumed his government, Ambode declared 50% discount on LUC as if tax was a telecom promo.

That means the hike will be 200 percent.

Would 200 percent tax hike be a sound decision when the country was in a recession? If not that God wanted to end the governor’s reign.

While the Land Use Charge was about to mellow, the waste crisis escalated and spiralled out of control.

The governor had sacked wastes managers popularly called PSPs with over 25,000 workers and brought in an acclaimed foreign waste managers for Lagos called Visionscape.

The government guaranteed N50b bond that was raised for the so-called foreign firm to take off.

Is that not strange and worrisome? Is it the government that should stand as guarantor for ‘foreign investors’?

It means if Visionscape fails, Lagos tax payers will pay the N50bn debt.

Ambode’s visionscape has no vision and capacity for Lagos mega wastes. Without mincing words, Visionscape failed and collapsed when it could not handle the task.

Industry experts say Lagos would not recover and get back to a state of relative sanity in the next 10 years.

According to them, on average, Lagos generates 35,000 metric tonnes of wastes a day, if not evacuated in three days, it will accumulate to over 100,000 metric tonnes which could be as high as 2-storey building.

Despite, the hurried beckoning of PSPs to rescue the overwhelmed Visionscape, the backlogs are still warehoused in residents’ compounds across the state particularly in the hinterlands.

Ambode demoralized PSP investors and operators. He was cajoing them while environment degenerated.

The governor caused the crisis not the residents or saboteurs.

Now, God Almighty has decided to humble Ambode who believed he was untouchable.

Like God did in the Bible days, he just showed Ambode that he ruled in the affairs of men and took his kingdom away from him.

The fatal end of Ambode is a lesson to every leader who is abusing grace and acting as if the day of reckoning would not come.

*Adeoba Michaels is a Public Affairs Analyst writes from Lagos*

Ambode’s Face-Saving Presence At Osun APC Mega Rally: Too Little, Too Late! By Adeoba Michaels

Only a naive political observer will not decipher the mission of the embattled outgoing governor of Lagos State, Mr Akinwunmi Ambode at the Osun APC governorship mega rally in Osun today.

Ambode was not there to rally support for Gboyega Oyetola, the party’s flagbearer but rather to try his luck if the cul-de-sac on his re-election bid can be averted.

Is it not astonishing that a governor whose image loomed larger than life could take his wife along with him to Osogbo ostensibly to beg for forgiveness.

The last minute efforts of the governor to create a false impression of a Comrade and a committed partyman was little and late too.

Governor Ambode had missed not a few critically rallies in the south west region in the past.

Without any tenable excuse, Ambode was conspicuously missing at the grand finale rally of the APC in Ekiti and was nowhere to be found at the flag off of Oyetola’s rally about two weeks ago.

The governor should be reminded that he had lost gold opportunities to save his crown.

Governor Ambode should know that what was bound in Lagos cannot be loose in Osogbo.

What miracle is he expecting at this eleventh hour when gate had already been shot against him and another man had been anointed to takeover his throne.

Who will beg for Ambode in Osogbo? Is it Rauf Aregbesola he reportedly treated like a trash when he visited him at his office in Lagos.

I am sure the arrogant and vindictive governor is not expecting the bellwether minister, Babatunde Fashola that he humiliated publicly to intervene for him.

The Lagos elders who could have helped him in this challenging time had been insulted by the governor.

Respected Musiliu Smith and Chief Femi Okunnu had a nasty experience while trying to save Ambode’s head from hammer.

If Ambode is a good man, while is he suddenly deserted by so-called supporters, not even a single commissioner in his cabinet had spoken in his support so far.

The reason is simple. He has been treating them like slaves. They dare not challenge his position on issues during Executive Council Meetings.

They have no powers to act. They were just occupying space as lame ducks!

How many Ambode’s commissioners can Lagosians recall their names offhand. This writer can only remember three. They have all been muzzled under the reign of terror of the emperor.

That was not the case during Bola Tinubu and Babatunde Fashola administrations.

Average Lagosians can reel out the names of star commissioners like Muiz Banire (Environment), Kayode Opeifa (Transport), Wale Edun (Finance), Ben Akabueze (Budget and Planning), Kadri Hamzat (Works) among others.

The reason was that these great talents were allowed and empowered to explore their potentiaties for the overall development of the state.

But Ambode’s leadership style is worrisome. He wants to be a lone star who will solely take credit for all collective feats.

In their closet, Ambode’s commissioners and other aides will be gloating over the governor’s fate because they know he is not a team player.

Is it the local government chairmen whose allocations from Federation account were used to build roads in their respective councils and Ambode claimed the roads as his achievements.

Ambode is now a pariah because of his high-handedness and vindictiveness. He should carry his cross and face the ignominy alone.

Ambode’s disgrace had started since Sunday when the preferred candidate, Babajide Sanwo-Olu formally declared.

Party members and chieftains taunted him openly as a man who was consumed by greed and pride.

The same disgraceful treatment was meted to him in Osogbo today, the Fuji King, K1 the Ultimate failed to recognize him when he waxed melodious songs for dignitaries.

What a shame. Ambode crashed from being an Alpha governor to a pariah!

He should stop wasting his time and prepare for imminent defeat if he won’t withdraw from the direct primaries.

Don’t weep for the governor. He is reaping the reward of his wickedness.

*Adeoba Michaels, is a Public Affairs Analyst writes from Lagos*

Holiness vs Legalism

Paul and Barnabas agreed to go visit all the brethren to whom they ministered the gospel. However, they could not agree to take John Mark with them. Barnabas wanted John Mark with them, while Paul didn’t because he left them while ministering in Pamphylia. Read Acts 15:36-39.

They argued over this matter to the point of separation. What? Holy Apostles?!
Acts 15:39 “And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus;”

I thought holy people must never feel anger. They must never feel jealousy. In fact the only time they get attracted to the opposite sex is when they see their wives or husband. I thought Holy singles must never feel like touching the opposite sex. I thought a holy single male disciple of Christ should never have erection except when he wakes up in the morning. All these aren’t true.

Beware of the messages on holiness that’ll give you an impression that your body impulses should be dead if you’re saved. So, if you still feel like being touched by the opposite sex at anytime, you must be saved from a demon. Such messages are lies.

Matthew 26:39 “And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”

Why did he pray such prayer? He felt like a man. He had divinity but we still saw humanity. God’s will was done. That’s all. He submitted. submission must overcome temptation. You must be tempted. You’re still human!

Jesus felt like quitting, but he didn’t quit.
To feel like fornicating doesn’t make you a fornicator.
To feel like sleeping doesn’t mean you sleep.

You feel like beating your wife doesn’t mean you’ve beaten her.
You feel like slapping your husband doesn’t mean you’ve SLAPPED him.

You feel like sinning? Holy men feel it too! You’ve not sinned until you DECIDE to sin!
To be pressed, beaten and kicked doesn’t make you defeated until you give up.

Paul, Peter, even Lord Christ Jesus had their struggles but they submitted to God.
Hebrews 4:15 “For we have not an High Priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.”

Jesus was tempted “in all points” like we are now being tempted, but didn’t sin. Temptation is one thing, sin is another. You’re born again? Good. Get ready. Your old habit will still play tricks with your mind. Your body isn’t born again! You must just subject it to God’s word by the Holy Spirit.

These legalistic holiness preachers preached legalism to a brother. He was tempted with fornication and fell. To douse the guilt that ensued, he committed suicide. He couldn’t comprehend God’s forgiving grace.

Holiness preacher pastor preached hard. They tell you that “If you get butterflies for a man or woman, you’re possessed, Christ isn’t like that. He’s not in you.” Ah! That’s not the gospel.
You sin when you let the butterfly lead you.

Butterfly for the opposite sex will ever fly! You just must by the Spirit let it not lead you. No wonder so many young people under these kind of pastors and pastor’s wives are clapping in service but dying in the secret.
These ones raise robots and pharisees, not disciples.

Peter felt like a man even while he carried the Holy Spirit to preach with power that saved three thousand souls. Yet he gave in to temptation of dissimulation. That’s why Paul scolded him to his face. Read Galatians 2. Paul insulted a secular elder. He apologized after being corrected. Read Acts 23.

Holiness is God’s nature. We partake in it by being saved by His Son and following the dictates of the Holy Ghost. Be careful not to want to help God in getting people holy so much that you teach extra scriptural things.

It’s so bad that people judge holiness by observing looks. If you’re handsome, have a charming smile, dress smartly and you’re smooth, you’re a sinner. If you’re ugly, use oversized clothing, and wear the countenance of Fadeyi Oloro, you’re spiritual. You must always make it hard on people.

Am I now teaching error?
” Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12

God has entrusted each of us with influence in the lives of others. We have a deep responsibility in those relationships, not only to spouses and children, but to friends, employees, and customers.

The temptation to press too hard, to demand too much, to force progress, or to orchestrate success can lead us to harm others even when we don’t realize it. For this very reason, followers of Christ are urged to be patient and gentle with one another (Col. 3:12). Since Jesus, the Son of God, came in humility, how can we withhold such kindness from one another?

THE DIFFERENT STAGES OF MARRIAGE…

1. THE AMAZEMENT STAGE: This is the “wow” stage. Lots of new things to discover with your spouse. The newness, the freshness is so amazing. Sleeping on the same bed, wearing the same attire, cooking for him, doing house chores with her, bathing together. Wearing your dazzling wedding ring everywhere, turning people’s head at the newest couple around. Loads and lots of fun. Sexual exploration and excitement. Being in control of your kitchen, feeding him and lots more. It’s the honeymoon stage and it’s so so beautiful.

2. THE IRRITATION STAGE: This is when you begin to notice weaknesses you have overlooked or blissfully wish they go away but didn’t. The repetition of such weaknesses begins to work on your nerves and you are getting irritated: he snores a lot, she is slow in the kitchen, she belches loudly, he screams unnecessarily, she won’t bathe before coming to bed or shave, he spends many hours watching football and ignores you when you talk. “What’s just wrong with this guy?” You think aloud, well it’s part of marriage.

3. THE ANGER STAGE: This is when the repetition of such weaknesses gets on your nerves and you display your anger. The introverted partners stuffs it in and either keep malice, avoid you or stubbornly continue with the irritating habit. It’s the stage you begin to wonder: “have I really married the wrong guy?” “Have I married the wrong woman?” No, you did not, you are simply going through a phase together.

4. THE RESOLUTION STAGE: When you both begin to face the reality of marriage and acknowledge your partner’s weaknesses. You eventually realize anger and malice does not solve any problem and begins to find ways to deal with your differences, both of you begin to compromise here and there and adjust to each other.

5. THE ACCEPTANCE STAGE: When it dawned on you that some things are just part of your partner and may never change till Jesus comes. You resigned from anger, abuse and quarrel and choose to accept them, lovingly adjust to them and enjoy them regardless of their weaknesses.

6. THE RESTFUL STAGE:This is the stage you permanently accept them with all their strengths, weaknesses, short comings and flaws and love them unconditionally regardless of what they do. This is real love -agape, divine and true. You reconnect emotionally, spiritually and physically at a deeper level and enjoy honey moon again while building a lasting marriage regardless of the challenges you face.

There is no perfect marriage. Every marriage goes through this stages. How you handle it will determine if you will come out bitter or better.

You don’t have to abuse your spouse or keep malice if Christ is at the centre of your home and you obey the word of God daily.

Nevertheless, do not be disappointed if you go through the unpleasant stages in marriage. It is a phase and will surely end.

Handle your marriage with wisdom and keep loving regardless of the challenges you face. That is what will make your marriage a heaven on earth experience. Thanks for reading.